"Anything written online about an ex-spouse will exist forever—when the children are old enough to read," cautions Newman. Being divorced doesn't mean you're a failure, less competent or less desirable.
"Divorce used to be something people didn't do, and many considered divorced women to be 'loose' and 'scandalous,'" says two-time divorcee Jennifer Little, Ph D, founder of Parents Teach Kids.
"I asked for, and got, a check 30 days after my husband left," she says.
"Too many men dodge their financial responsibilities, so waiting for that first alimony check is unwise. Newman says that a client of hers told her husband's boss about his affair with his secretary and ended up getting him fired.
to do) if you're going through—or just contemplating—a divorce.
Here, real women share what they wish they'd known when they split from their husbands and divorce professionals weigh in on how to combat the most unexpected, yet most common, mistakes they've seen clients make.
Ask your attorney when and how it's best to gather this info first, though. "Raw emotions will heal and legalities will be completed, but the financial impact of poor decisions, or default decisions due to lack of understanding, will last a lifetime," she warns.
Step one: Thoroughly understand your current cost of living the divorce proceedings start. Even with carefully planning out your future expenses, something surprising may pop up."I'm a strong person, I own my own business and I'm a professional speaker," she says.But she admits she could barely function for a full year after the split.Rest assured, these 10 lessons can get you through the end of your marriage, both financially and emotionally. It may take a long time to recover—and that's okay.Julie, 50, from Denver, thought she'd be able to handle her divorce.So get as much information as you can about your shared accounts to be well-informed before court.