There are many contrasts between healthy and unhealthy relationships. There is no need to hide or to try to fool the other.
Taken together they chart a continuum between the secular model and the biblical model. Each person is also aware of the other’s strengths and weaknesses. In a healthy relationship, each person finds joy in sharing in the other person’s growth, in playing a role in “completing” the other. A healthy relationship can be described as two good friends becoming better friends. Few of the magazines that clutter the checkout counters of grocery stores publish articles extolling the joys of sacrifice. Unfortunately, most of us are more accustomed to demanding sacrifice from our partner than to sacrificing our selves.
Without accountability, trust and the restoration of intimacy in relationships is impossible.
Some people prefer to have serious conversations face-to-face, and some find text message updates reassuring.
Make sure you are aware of what your partner needs.
We deceive those we love, rationalizing that keeping secrets is really for their good.
Virtually all addictions are maintained under the cover of some sort of deception, which eventually is woven into a vast tapestry of lies and cover-ups. One of the main functions of a recovery support group is the accountability it provides, holding the recovering addict to rigorous truthfulness.
What greater gift can we give someone than to set them free from the weight of their mistakes? In a relationship characterized by fear, just the opposite happens.
When we unlock others from a past they cannot correct, we free them to become all they can become, and we free our relationships to become all they can becomes as well. There is a need to build up a wall of defensiveness. There is no way to build a lasting, healthy relationship on a foundation of dishonesty.
A healthy heart can enter into healthy relationships.
Healthy relationships are central to recovery for romance, relationship, and sex addicts.
There are no garbage bags in healthy relationships. Often people come from such insecure childhoods they can only hope that their adult life will include a relationship that allows them to rest in the arms of someone who really cares. When we shift from trying to use others to satisfy our security needs to trying to meet the security needs of others, we find ourselves in a new dimension. We are filling their doubts and fears with the reassurance of our consistent behavior. We become, in a word, loving: other-focused and totally selfless. It is wonderful to be vulnerable, to do an emotional free fall and have someone there to catch you.