It doesn’t get any easier as time passes, but a combination of wine, leaving some clothes on and having the lighting low works for me.Things with Jack unfortunately fizzled out after a year or so – he was having a second youth of constant holidays and weekend breaks that I just couldn’t join in on, as much as I loved his approach to life.Gradually I introduced him to Josh, and I also felt like I could trust him with my post-baby body.
Even if all that happened was a no-strings fling, I was still more interested in what they were like as people – did they have ambition? Well, it turns out there is a whole other layer of disappointment that someone in my position has to deal with.
First up, there was the guy who told me he didn’t really like women with children and it annoyed him that there were so many mums on dating sites – even though I had written it clearly on my profile!
In fact, I know I will meet someone special one day.
Someone who understands that being a mum will always come first, but that I also want and deserve an exciting social and sex life as much as anyone who doesn’t have kids.
In fact, a single-mum friend was seeing a guy who used her ‘lack of spontaneity’ as an excuse for sleeping with someone else.
Now when I spot the word ‘spontaneous’ in a man’s dating profile, I swipe left.
I realise I’m not a teenager any more, but that doesn’t mean I want to fast-track to a relationship that involves arguing over the remote control when Match of The Day is on.
Then there is simply my lack of free time – my son goes to stay with his dad every other weekend, so I have precisely 48 hours a fortnight to have fun. In truth, I doubt we’re even seen as a great catch and imagine lots of people think I should just settle for whoever I’m lucky enough to get.
Their negativity was surprising and quite upsetting at times. One friend suggested I should just focus on being by myself, while a particularly charming family member questioned why being a mother wasn’t ‘enough for me’.
They even implied that I should wait until my son was 16 – only another 15 years on my own then!
In reality, the things I want are fantastic nights out followed by lots of sex – but sadly they didn’t seem to top his list of priorities.