Often with the next woman, she won’t put up with the same crap so he tries much harder.
If you met an attached guy who when he disclosed the fact that he was in a relationship, you told him to take a run and jump and telling him to go and to come back when he’s got his house in order, he’d actually have greater respect for you.
Not every woman puts up with poor behaviour from men.
’ Look at the bigger picture and see beyond him and the new relationship and focus on washing him out of your mind and life, and ensuring that you don’t fall into the same traps. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
Whether it’s figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.
Especially when it comes to assclowns and habitually emotionally unavailable men, they need attention in the form of ego stroking, a convenient shag, and a smokescreen that let’s themselves believe that they are not the assclown that they actually are.
Some need to prove they’ve still got ‘it’, some are afraid to look in the mirror and see themselves for what they are, some are afraid of what it means to have another ‘failed’ relationship, and some just like having someone there.
“I wanted to ask you something about prom.” Here it was! He just kept talking in circles about tickets, his friends, this girl named Nikki, their table, and how it was a super complicated situation. That doesn’t really explain why he did it, but he definitely knows it was a bad move. For years after “the incident,” I’d beat myself up.
“I guess that works…” When I hung up, I had a huge WTF-shaped hole in my heart. I called him out on his odd ask years later (we’ve remained on-and-off friends since high school), and he just laughed it off: “Yeah, I was an idiot,” he said. But it’s so clear to me now: I wanted him to like me, I wanted to be the “cool” girlfriend, I didn’t want to come across as “jealous.” In order to be the non-jealous, totally cool girlfriend, I put his wants and needs over my own, and guess what? People-pleasing is great for the person being pleased, but it’s torturous for the person doing it.
They recognise red flags, have clear boundaries and know when to opt out because they recognise that these men are no good.