If you're upset about someone else's relationship, it really just means you have something to work on inside!
_______________________ Woodbridge: How is it that black women feel wrong for considering white men, but black men don't feel the same way if they have a white woman? Karyn Folan: Hi Woodbridge, I certainly can't speak for black men, but several of the women I interviewed spoke to a double standard in their families.
Even more surprising to us, was that three of the five were comprised of white men and black women. I worry that dating a white guy may adversely affect my son.
It was okay for their brothers to date white girls, but they were told as girls "don't bring home a white boy". The legacy of mistreatment of black women by white men holds a strong imprint.
But this message, much as it as meant to protect, does suggest that black women don't have the same choice as black men.
_______________________ Fairfax, VA: Do you think that boys have a harder time dealing with being biracial or is it just as hard for girls? I think it really just depends on the child and the prevailing attitudes of the environment they live in.
Some kids have a hard time, some sail through-- just like any other adolescents.
But I also think there is something to be said about the way in which gender, stereotypes and our nation's history (where black boys were lynched for looking at white women) has impacted the makeup of black/white relationships. There were actually quite a few women I interviewed for Don't Bring Home A White Boy who expressed your exact sentiments: they resented black men with white wives.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and thank you for sharing your work! However, for most of them, once they were in a serious relationship of their own, they found themselves to be far less concerned with what black men were doing.
However, parental support and living in diverse areas seems to provide the best environments for multi-racial children to do well.
One of the experts framed it perfectly, however, when she pointed out that we ought to ask ALL prospective parents "what about the children? As we all know, same-race parents don't necessarily insure that a child will have a happy or secure childhood.
I also think, however, that the black community RELIES on black women.
And there's a perception that there will be real problems if too many black women date or marry outside of it.
_______________________ Laurel, Md.: Isn't it funny that almost all of biracial children are beautiful?