I'm hoping that my experience of listening to my critics and reevaluating my conclusions will inspire others to see that progress and growth always involves the humbling process of admitting mistakes." Harris wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" when he was 20 years old, had been homeschooled his entire life, and had not yet been in a dating relationship.
In his book, Harris also urges Christian singles to commit to "purposeful singleness," as romantic relationships should exist only as a means to preparing for marriage.
"I was young, I was religiously zealous, I was certain, and I was restlessly ambitious," Harris recalled.
We want to curate these stories in the hopes of preventing more damage from being done and to provide an alternative narrative to the rigid and narrow thinking that IKDG and Harris’ other work espouses.
Here’s how you can participate: We hope to help keep the power of the stories in the hands of those they belong to. It is our hope that these stories will not only give comfort to those who have felt like they are alone, but will also spur Joshua Harris on to further and more humble reflection on his contributions to purity culture—reflection that does not come at the cost of those most harmed by his teachings. Add a link to your own #IKDGstories blog post, podcast, or video.
"In today's world, we spend so much energy being right and proving others wrong," he says in the talk's description.
"Twenty years ago I wrote a best-selling book about dating that I'm now realizing misguided and even hurt some people.
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Apparently, even Josh Harris himself is leaning toward this direction. We need to begin in safe, vulnerable conversations. Kissing waiting goodbye has nothing to do with plunging past physical or sexual boundaries.
that’s part of the problem with my book.” The Washington Post followed up with a similar article in which a writer shares her story: I am a purity-culture success story: I am a heterosexual woman, a virgin until marriage, now with two small children and a husband I deeply love. This post received over 1,200 comments in less than a week. If I were to be honest, there were even a handful of men who helped me work through a lot of these topics. Just because we are ridding ourselves of the anxiety of waiting doesn’t mean that we give up all forms of God-honoring waiting for certain aspects of marriage.
For those who were affected by the tidal wave of copies of books by authors who championed for waiting, what are we to do?
"I didn't leave room for the idea that dating could be a healthy way of learning what you're looking for in a long-term relationship, that it could be a part of growing personally," he said.