Look, there are untold numbers of reasons why people don’t respond to online dating messages…
This is the reality of 99.999% of people who use OKCupid or Match or Plenty Of Fish or Geek2Geek or Fetlife or Christian Singles or JDate…
really, dating site (with some notable exceptions).
I’m a big believer in efficiency when it comes to dating. Y’see, online dating can seem for folks, especially people who have a touch of approach anxiety or hate the bar and club scene but don’t necessarily want to try hitting up strangers at Barnes and Noble.
In practice, however, we have these tendencies to expend a lot of our time and energy on aspects of dating which prone to wasting your time with online dating than you are trying to meet women by making a cold approach at a bar or making small-talk with the cute librarian you ran into at Starbucks.
To abuse the metaphor further, you want to be tossing as much out there as you can and seeing what floats to the top. Some people are just going to disappear off the face of the earth with no warning.
It’s one thing when you’re meeting women in person – unless you’re a graduate of the Lando Calrissian Player School, then you’re only going to be flirting with one woman at a time. Even if someone seems perfect on paper, you have no idea how well you’re going to work out in person… Even two or three dates isn’t enough to preclude things not working out.
It takes slightly longer than hitting “wink” (unless you’re like me and kept two to three variations in a text file that you could copy and paste in as needed…) but it’s also far more likely to get an actual response instead of a silent eye-roll. You may be trying to feel things out and get to know them.
You may be trying to avoid getting shot down and want to wait until you’re actually going to meet her in public.
Feel free to write out the “about me” section in advance; it’ll save you time in the long-run and it allows you to fine-tune it rather than hitting “send” and then kicking yourself because you realized you could’ve said something wittier. If you had a chance, what would you do to wind down after a long week? A little about me: I’m $AWESOME_ATTRIBUTES_X, Y and Z… Like I said: you seem like you’re a really interesting person and I’d love to get to know you.