We all want someone to set the tone and follow along, instead of realizing that we’re always setting the tone ourselves.
Though being aware of the specific dating questions can definitely help you identify what a woman's priorities may be, it isn't nearly as important as understanding the intentions beneath them.
Women have two personal reasons for getting together with men: the external benefits and the internal benefits they receive. Really, it's the feelings underneath the benefits that women are ultimately after.
Ignore this single fact, and the dating world will eat you up alive and spit you out broke or heart-broken. External benefits are things like material possessions or opportunities that save women time and effort, which give them feelings ranging from security to luxury.
While internal benefits are things like adventure and challenge, which give them feelings from excitement to pleasure.
If your email dialogue is flagging, it’s not simply because she’s not interested in you – it’s because you haven’t captured her imagination.
You haven’t created a compelling reason why she should write back to you over all others.
If you’re going to write the same exact email as every single person on the dating site, you can’t be surprised when you get deleted quickly like junkmail. One is called Fun Fiction, in which you make up something silly based on a detail in the other person’s profile. You may think that this stuff doesn’t matter – that people only write back to the most attractive people no matter what.
So if everything you’ve been doing in your emails is ineffective – if everything that comes naturally to you is too dull – what ARE you to do? The other is called Opinion Openers, where, instead of stating a “me, too” fact (You like Bruce Springsteen? ), you offer your opinion – in which your personality shines through (Hey, if The Boss is from New Jersey, how come he sounds more like Woody Guthrie than Tony Soprano when he sings? So while I will acknowledge that being hot and stupid is more effective than being ugly and fascinating, the truth lies somewhere in between.
She played along and pushed right back and they’ve already got a first date lined up. “He was so lively and engaging that I sort of had no choice but to come back with something equally witty and creative.” “So by him writing something playful and interesting to you, he actually brought out a more playful and interesting side of you? Wouldn’t it stand to reason that if you took the time to write something interesting and creative back to these guys, you might discover that they actually have a personality?