In fact, you may be experiencing attractions of deprivation, where you try to recreate the issues from childhood in your romantic partners.
We spelled out (and drew) all of the musts for my future Mr. Your dating past and present doesn’t make you racist, but your dating future does when it’s predetermined by race.
Now, when I discuss the differences between European and American, I’m referring to a mindset. American men on the other hand, tend to be goal oriented, with the aim of getting laid.
The former is about past and possibly present experience, while the latter indicates self-imposed limitations that encompass past, present and future. When you make a point of banning an entire racial group from your pool of dating possibilities–no blacks, no whites, no Asians, no whatever–then you’ve waded into racist waters.
Minorities shouldn’t be held to different dating standards than everyone else.
They grow up developing friendships with the opposite sex and in turn, develop more empathy and understanding of the opposite sex.
In American culture, there is a clear segregation of the sexes, boys play with boys and do boy things and girls do the same.
The American way is loud and even arrogant at times. Call it the revolving door or hedging – there’s the idea in the American approach to dating that there’s always something better around the corner.
With European men, if there’s mutual interest, they keep seeing that person and don’t keep hunting for better options simultaneously. Nor will they freak out when discussions of commitment or future come up.
American men will rush to get you in bed as quick as possible, while European men don’t appear to have the same rush (or desperation). European men don’t ‘date’ – in the formal way that Americans are used to.
The types of dates seen in movies – the formal ask, the fancy dinner and the entire dance that ensues simply doesn’t exist in the European mindset, in fact, the word “dating” isn’t even a part of their lexicon. Unlike American culture, where there’s almost a rite of passage which takes two people from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “dating” to “exclusive”, these labels just aren’t a focus or concern for European men. Rather, the mentality is, “I like you, I want to see you, and if it’s enjoyable, let’s keep seeing each other”.
Sure, they will go out for dinner and do fun activities, but it’s not packaged up in a formal and contrived manner. It’s more organic and instead of defining the relationship in order to know how to act, they let the relationship unfold and the label of boyfriend/girlfriend just naturally develops in the process. European men are comfortable with women, which leads to respect for women.