It will put a lot of strain on your relationship and sometimes it is EXTREMELY hard to deal with. But, I know my boyfriend is not staying at his ex's house. He was separated, living in separate places, for a little over a year.
My situation is a little different because I have kids with the guy who also has an ex wife and son. What stinks is that I can sit here and tell you to have trust etc. The kids know about me and the two times we met he told me they really liked me.
It seems he's not sure how to bring me into their relationship.
I feel that if he loves me like he says he does then he should feel and do the same. I think that being with a divorced guy with kids really depends on the situation. I include him in all aspects of my life: I got him on my softball team, he's met/hung out with my friends multiple times, he's met my family, I invite him everywhere. I am dating a man with 2 sons from his ex-wife and a daughter with his ex-gf.
It your happy right now, you should keep going with it. I feel like I am not included in the most important aspect of his and it hurts. I am an Asian, we don't believe in divorce and that sort of thing. I am in this dilemma as I am also not sure if we will have a good future together...he's hesitant to get married and not so sure of having another child.
In fact, the real thing may even have to be an extra level of mind blowing for them to go down that path again.
I've been dating a man for close to 5 months and he is recently divorced and has 3 kids.
Just remember that it is still the beginning and you might not end up with him anyway. Troe1113, I realize that the situations are not exactly the same, but you could be in for a long wait and not even know if he's going to involve you or not with his kids. We talk about it often but nothing has changed and he keeps telling me to be patient. I am 33 yrs old, never been married and want children of my own.
If you do end up with him, I'm sure it will be because he treats you right. I'd say that you should talk to him and let him know if he will be a part of you by a certain date (before your first anniversary would be good, I think, but you may choose one that you prefer). I'm interested in knowing how things have turned out for you? I don't want to succomb to my family's pressure but they are so right.
When it comes to bringing up the ex, always be on the receiving end. Just be willing to move a slower pace, and take your time when getting to know this person. There's something to be said for taking your time in a relationship, and this will allow you to potentially build a solid, trusting foundation. Don't be offended if the parents don't exactly welcome you with open arms at first.
Their baby has been hurt, and they're going to be extra protective him/her for, well, a long long while.
What reason does he have for not doing it for eight more? Let them feed off your positive energy & be sure to mention what an admirable, inspiring man you have -yes, as much as possible, even if their stares become ice cold and their words fade into silence... I do understand where he is coming from, although I also definitely understand where you are coming from. For him, it is probably easy to get into the routine with just his kids (not that he is trying to set you aside). I really am so confused what to do It's like reading something I have written....
I was in your situation, until I broke it off with him yesterday. Your story provides confirmation that I did absolutely the correct thing. They will get over the initial shock of how untraditional your relationship is, and more importantly, that even though this isn't what they envisioned for you, it might be ok -because of the positive changes your relationship causes within you. He also may be somewhat over-protective of his kids and maybe worried about them, in the event that your relationship has issues. I'm 29 with a man who is 42 years old with 3 kids (18,15,10).
I respect that they are concerned about me and my situation but can't they just be happy that I'm happy right now? consider that and watch how close your guy with his children and watch the character of those children .your choice .. I also am in a relationship with a fella with 3 kids, I have 4 and can make it work, but he is having difficulty, he says they come first and me 2nd. Using this, I decided what to do about my relationship and have been very happy with my decision. I am dating a recently divorced man with 3 children. I have only been around them twice and both times things went well, but we've been dating now for 8 months and still I've only been around them twice. But, If he doesn't have that desire to include me in ALL of his life, have me go places with them (even once a month) then how do I know if this is actually going somwhere?