Those changes are a tall order, but I'm starting like this: I vow to follow through with creating more complex acting opportunities; I'll no longer let my half-finished screenplays languish on my hard drive.
As for the emotional availability, I'm practicing with friends.
As the disappointments in both love and work racked up, I became brittle and pessimistic.
I met several interesting men, most of whom seemed uninterested in having a relationship, at least with me.
Phone calls regularly failed to turn into first dates, first dates often failed to turn into second ones.My would-be suitors' inconsistencies had gotten so consistent that I wondered if I could find meaning in it. Maybe the revisions, the books, and the diligence in getting out there finally introduced me to meet my real 'matches.' My well-meaning phone and dinner dates–like Peter, the Malibu businessman still wary from his last girlfriend's drug problem, and Richard, the writer whose abrupt phone exit was explained by a Google search revealing his life-threatening illness–didn't seem to really want to be dating. ***I tallied up my audition call-back rates and discovered they went down when I had more on my plate romantically.
Last summer, after a bad run, which culminated in being stood up by Martin, a sexy animator with a string of baby mamas up the West Coast, it seemed like it was time to take a break.
On my first Match-less Saturday in months I was blindsided by crying jags and existential panic.
Maybe this break needed to be a retirement.***It takes a certain kind of woman to walk through the looking-glass of online dating.
I wouldn't want you to assume that you, too, will lose a chunk of your thirties and thousands of dollars (therapy hours, clothes bought in the wake of misguided hookups...) just because you cobble together a profile.Related: As a professional actor for the last 15 years, my career has primed me for this level of extreme online dating.
He was the first man I introduced to my family in seven years.
I was so relieved to have companionship that I overlooked the temper flare-ups that would send me to the next room to recover.
As Being-a-Person-101 as it sounds, when they ask how I am I remind myself to tell them what I'm feeling not what I'm doing.It's likely I'll one day return to online dating.