When your partner is finished, repeat back the main points you’ve heard him or her say, and ask if you understood correctly.
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For the non-ADHD partner, this means learning how to react to frustrations in ways that encourage and motivate your partner. If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued.
You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don’t remember later, which can be frustrating to others. Even when a person with ADHD is paying attention, he or she may later forget what was promised or discussed.
You wish your significant other could relax even a little bit and stop trying to control every aspect of your life.
You wonder what happened to the person you fell in love with.
If you’ve been together a long time or you’ve had the same fights again and again, you might think that you already understand where your partner is coming from.
But don’t underestimate how easy it is to misinterpret your partner or spouse’s actions and intentions.When emotions are running high, as they usually do around ADHD relationship issues, it’s particularly difficult to maintain objectivity and perspective.The best way to put yourself in your partner’s shoes is to ask and then simply listen.If you’re the non-ADHD partner, consider how your nagging and criticism makes your spouse feel.Don’t dismiss your partner’s complaints or disregard them because you don’t like the way he or she brings it up or reacts to you.Acknowledge the impact your behavior has on your partner.