He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married.Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right.He has four online dating profiles, and when people ask him if he’s dating anyone, he explains that he’s just too busy with his career right now for a relationship.
The Misogynist doesn’t know a whole lot about the other gender, but he can tell you the exact number of them he’s slept with—214.
He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.
It’s hard enough finding someone to be your life partner, and this guy’s parents are really not making things any easier.
He tried to rebel briefly, but after his last girlfriend was not allowed in his parents’ house, causing her to cry, he gave up on that.
Through high school, college and his twenties, he was always The Guy With A Girlfriend.
He spent years enjoying pitying his single friends, and somehow, he’s now 30 and single.And that’s just her public persona—at home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of The Total Package’s story.Oh and she also speaks French, plays tennis, sings beautifully, reads voraciously and she’s a history buff. As long as anyone can remember, The New Lease On Life Guy had been dating his longterm girlfriend.The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler.The Total Package is handsome—and you better believe he’s well-groomed.But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started.