I have to trust that God is still pursuing my husband and that it is the Holy Spirit’s role, not mine, to woo him back to faith.
We fell in love as we encountered God in people on the streets and breathed in the Colorado mountain air.
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In my own faith, I still hold to most core tenets of orthodox Christianity (though I don’t believe that mental assent to a doctrinal checklist is what makes me a Christian).
Our buttoned-down honor code told us right from wrong in such stark, legalistic terms that we didn’t know what to do when we discovered a world with jumbled variations of gray.
My husband and I attended a conservative evangelical school and together embodied the Christian-college, do-gooder cliché.We also recognize that what people want in their 50s, 60s and beyond is often very different from what they wanted in their 30s and 40s, let alone their 20s.This online dating community focuses on the specific interests and desires of people like you.We had new friends who didn’t know Jesus as their Lord and Savior, yet loved their kids and the earth around them in ways that some people inside the church just didn’t.We were just a pair of idealistic 20-year-olds with a fiery passion for Jesus, Champion of the Poor, and felt confident we could follow God together.As Lauren Winner writes in her book Still: Notes from a Mid-Faith Crisis: “Some days I am not sure if my faith is riddled with doubt or whether, graciously, my doubt is riddled with faith.” Dealing with my husband’s deconversion has been a rocky detour on my already wayward faith journey, particularly as it concerns questions of salvation and damnation.